Earth Is My Womb

Earth Spiral

Image: Geo Sans


fossilized spirals

born without a heartbeat

tomorrow I breathe again

reciting to myself

impermanence is permanence


10 years ago

holding our stillborn son

today I count strata layers

curling in the deep core

my suffocating tomb


+ + +


We discover meaning through experiences. We’re young. We’re old. We keep experiencing, we keep thinking, we keep feeling. We like to lie to ourselves that things will stay the same. Then, we say it’ll get better.

We keep changing. Life keeps changing. Endless spirals and cycles of decay and growth. Struggling to find an equilibrium. We know life is cruel. Searching for a sense of meaning.

Why does the sun set? Why does a flower bloom? We know how … but why? How is everything all connected? Maybe our minds create our unique connections. Maybe there aren’t any …

I think too much. I don’t “do” enough. My muscles and my body aren’t “tired” enough. Sleep continues the questions and searches through my dreams. Familiar becomes unfamiliar and back again. I wake up and I go to sleep and life continues.

I feel tired. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I’m becoming disconnected again … to myself and this life. Grief does this to me. Anniversaries do this to me. I think too much about what could have been instead of what is.

10 years ago, this past weekend, I held my stillborn baby boy. Looking at his beautiful face, I was overwhelmed by sadness, grief, and a stinging sense of joy. I left the delivery room and was physically sick in the hospital bathroom.

You, my son, are not here.

I’m here. I love you. I miss you. I miss what could have been. You touched me with love’s potential — and then shook my soul and thundered my mind.

Today, I honour and remember. My hands are trembling and empty — but I’m still holding you in my pain. And I’m grateful for this presence.


Geo Sans


love can be

exchanging signals


small moments


I’m sorry

I let my wants


override your needs


I was too busy

shutting out life’s beauty


on myself


I forgot to stop

soft stillness


absorbing your colours


I’m listening now





Images: Geo Sans

Honouring Today

honoring today

Image: Geo Sans


maybe endless possibilities

beyond perception


I am working towards


uncertainties of life


I don’t know

I can’t understand


the phenomenon

humanity and science

cannot yet prove


I’m learning to live

with life’s ambiguity

a world without answers


within constant

change and doubt


I’m learning to live

in a world without

imposed cultural expectations

or religious structures


I’m working towards

finding comfort


within this present moment

within my own relationship

and understanding

of love


I’m learning to focus

my energy

loving kindness

towards myself


and our place

in this planet


maybe my purpose

is to prove to myself

the awareness

the endless possibilities

and discover

my own personal truths

my unique spiritual path

towards love and inner peace


maybe love and inner peace

are possible

for all of us

in our own time

in our own distinct way