I Am Not An Artist

two summers ago

envisioning

documenting

only pretending

~

a has-been

that-never-was

another unfinished project

~

I’m Not An Artist

~

Music: My Fair Hiphop by VEGO feat. DJ AKA (creative commons copyright)

~

Music: Relaxation Spa Treatment by Dan the Automator (creative commons copyright)

My Stranger

introduced

unrecognizable

~

denying

emotion, impulse

concealed from view

~

you’re a fool

blindly searching the sun

~

under the surface

darkness

uncontrollable, unexplainable

natures

~

look into the fire

understand instinct

I’m part of you

~

look into the sun

blindly no more

~

raise your cup

to light, to truth

~

My Stranger

The Great Depression

born in uncertainty

~

a phenomenon

giving rise to fascism

destruction

a second world war

~

the despair felt

by many

never left

throughout their life

~

those years

left a mark

taking generations

to live down

~

I’m listening dad

I’m starting to understand

~

The Great Depression

Finding Peace

when his wife died

my grandpa was fifty three

~

she left twelve children

ages five to twenty two

~

sorrow, sadness

engulfed their hearts

~

their love

shouldered long years

~

restless anxiety

transitioned

to calm peace

~

grandpa told my mom

I have an appointment

with jesus

at six o’clock in the morning

~

he told his daughter

I’m with the lord

~

two months later

he died peacefully

at eighty nine

~

Me & Grandpa

Yada Yada Yada

25 things about me … blah blah blah

originally written 4 months

before my daughter was born

~

# 1

I was born 2 weeks late

but I was also born early

I was born in the car

on the way to the hospital

~

# 2

when I was around 2 years old

I hugged a puppy to death

~

# 3

I had the best childhood

I was the fifth of seven children

I grew up on a farm

we had tons of cool animals and a big garden

~

# 4

I have always tried to treat everyone as family

it seems to work for me

~

# 5

when I was 3

I watched my mom chop off a chicken’s head

I think she was sending me a message …

“Don’t mess with me”

we ate the chicken that week and it tasted awesome !!!

~

# 6

the first time I ate at kentucky fried chicken

I thought something was wrong

I never saw such small pieces of chicken in my life

~

# 7

food is not a big deal to me anymore

I would be okay eating the same thing everyday

this should disturb me — but it doesn’t

~

# 8

I moved away from home

when my little brother was 9

he turns 30 this year

whenever he’s in one of my dreams

he’s still 9

~

# 9

my wife and I have been together 16 years

we watch the movie “amelie” together every valentine’s day

“young frankenstein” every halloween

~

# 10

the mountains are beautiful

but I don’t like driving in them

I prefer driving in the prairies

~

# 11

my wife and I found out about september 11th (2001) a day later

we were on a

week long hiking trip (west coast trail on vancouver island)

~

# 12

I used to be a perfectionist

I have learned that no one has all the answers

I have also learned it is okay

to ask for help when you need it

~

# 13

I want to be more assertive … but in a positive way

~

# 14

I refuse to be manipulated or exploited

I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty

ashamed or embarrassed for anything I don’t deserve

~

# 15

I believe we can learn

something from everyone

but only if we are

O P E N

to listening and learning

~

# 16

if I can’t afford something

I won’t buy it

I learned this the hard way

~

# 17

I have learned that you can’t help someone

unless they want to be helped

~

# 18

“maybe” is a valid answer

I think logic is too limiting

the world is bigger than a “yes” or “no” reply

lots of times there isn’t a “right” or “wrong” answer

big questions almost never have a simple solution

~

# 19

I don’t know if school is for everyone

it might be a myth that we need a formal education

a degree to be successful in life

I know a lot of people who are living proof of this

~

# 20

For the past 38 years

I’ve never owned a cell phone

I can’t hear anyone on them

maybe I should get my hearing checked

~

# 21

For 36 years

I chewed my fingernails

I stopped biting them after my dad died

~

# 22

I feel that every single person is a miracle

all life is precious

and we all have a choice

~

# 23

I have faith in people and the future

~

# 24

I want to live life to the fullest

but I am not afraid of death

death is a part of life

I accept that now

~

# 25

everyone looks awesome when they smile

~

My Birthday

my fifth birthday and I am king of the world !!!