almost 9 months
something’s not right
~
the heartbeat
stopped —
the baby still needs
to be delivered
~
holding you
I’ve never felt
so helpless
~
we held him
we named him
~
he looked
so beautiful
so perfect
blood started
to seep out his nose
then all over
his face
~
my body froze
my heart screamed
~
ever since you died
I’ve wanted to believe
in a heaven
~
Words fail me.
And me..no words
There is nothing like a loss of a child, nothing. I was told repeatedly I was losing my son inside my womb and cried excrusiating tears of submission to failure and nightmare. He proved them all wrong and came out ok, but I had to prepare my body and mind constantly for his loss. The fortune I hold in him hanging on compares with naught.
This loss you have put words to is paramount to the understanding of others. Thank you for this, it is tremendously important and my heart and spirit mourn for all the lost little ones, there is a special place for them, the most perfect of places where only perfection resides.
Life is so precious. I’m so glad your child is alive. Thanks for sharing. It means a lot.
Wow.
If this is based on your life, my heart aches for you. If this is compassion for others that have felt this, beautiful.
my life
For what it is worth, your sharing and compassion is so touching that I feel it deeply. Though we are strangers in the world, you are not along. I will be reading you and caring deeply for your life as it unfolds on a page.
thanks so much Sarah Jane
So sad! I nearly lost my youngest child 6 weeks premature, she stopped moving and heart-rate slowed to near stop! The wonder doctors were able to take her emergency and save her life. My heart broke and i cannot imagine the pain you must of felt! My eyes poured for you!!! Your words were heart wrenching
I always
feel
overjoyed
hearing
miracles
of
life
~
thanks for
sharing
no words, just {{{hugs}}} Love, Kozo
thank you
Kozo
I can’t hit ‘like’ this leaves me feeling broken and hollow – I can’t even imagine…
hopefully
you
never
know
so sorry that you do…. broken pieces of your heart lie on paper for all to read…. very brave…
You are braver than I am
but I’m trying
Your son has taught you well, Geo
sweetness
everyone
that leaves
always lives on
in our hearts
~
maybe
the initial pain
is their soul
kicking, curling, tossing, searching
for a comfortable space
inside us
with our hearts
opening
holding
maybe
eventually
~
snuggling
an unimaginable horror story…i’m so sorry <3
thanks
for commenting
caring
I am so very sorry. May God have mercy on you and be beside you as you mourn this tragic loss.
fate
happens
~
I keep breathing
loving
I know you’ve mentioned this before … but, never as movingly as this. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I am, however, glad you’re sharing your story via your wonderful poetry — being able to write so beautifully about something so tragic says your wounded soul is slowly mending, though, I imagine the scars will always be big.
Thank you for your open, honest, soulful, mournful poem. Hitting the like button seems rather odd.
A hug for you, my friend — for your loss, and to help encourage you in your journey.
thanks john
for
encouraging
the journey
forward
what
they
said
(tears)
my pain
tears
~
his gift
that connects me
to him
others
My heart goes out to you and your beautiful son. I am so glad that you have your powerful poetry to help you heal the excruciating pain. Love, love, love-to you and your sweet baby
thanks
~
I’ve committed
my life
to loving
healing
peace to you my friend, I know he’s in heaven, even if you don’t. where else would he be? you’ll see him again one day, you’ll see he’s fine and oh so happy, so peace..to you my friend
I still talk
whisper love to him
~
when the sun
stings my eyes
Well, maybe heaven does exist Geo, but perhaps not in the way that the story tellers of the past have said it is so. There’s so much we don’t know compared to what we do know, which leaves a lot that could be!
I was with my mother when she died, she was in a drugged sleep, a lot to do with the Morphine, and she had gone blind due to a brain tumour effecting the optic nerve. It was very strange considering those two things, that the moment before she completely stopped breathing she suddenly seemed to come to life and blinked, and sort of moved her head as if to avoid something touching her, up until then, she had been completely out of it for hours, just heavy breathing, deep unconsciousness, looking like a dying bird on the roadside. I’m very open minded about what happens to us when we die, but that moment is a strange one, and it really felt as if she could see something I couldn’t. I wonder sometimes if we have even begun to understand what we are in, in our every waking moment. I have so many questions about reality and unreality, and how one person can see something completely different to another, and yet we all live on the same planet – apparently! ;)
I hope you do see your little boy again Geo – I hope for us all to be reconnected with the ones that have meant so much to us. And I really hope there are some surprises in store too, especially for the ones who think they know how it all works – that will be a good day!!
thanks
~
for caring
sharing
your words
about
your mother
~
peace
my heart and words are there for you *hugs*
thank you
~
we lost our boy
almost 8 years ago
~
last year I wrote this
as part of my healing
~
the love
of family and friends
were of great comfort
My heart hurt as I read this. I can’t even imagine it. Thank you so much for sharing.
it is easier
to touch
and feel this area
from my past
~
the past eight years
the love from family
and friends
have healed immensely
I send a warm embrace as there is nothing more I can offer to ease the pain.
after 8 years
the love from family and friends
have helped me
learned to face
and learn from my pain
~
thanks for your kindness
it is much
appreciated
I’ll simply pray that love and strength continues to surround you and that your healing can help others as well.
At a loss of words right now… Please accept my deepest condolences.
He’s there, not just in heaven, but within the beauty of everything. x
almost eight years
~
it is becoming easier
to come to terms
with losing my son
~
thanks for the love
and warmth
in your words
I just came across this in my reader. My heart goes out to you. As a registered nurse I worked with families that grieved. I know the pain. May you know you are not alone my friend. You have an angel I am sure right by your side.
thank you
for your warm words
~
eight years ago
the nurses
were so compassionate
and caring
~
all nurses
are such special people
After such a heartbreaking loss, to write it down, to re-live the pain, over and over, is a healing process. My Mother died eight years ago, I wrote about her in all kinds of ways, re-living memories of her life, my life with her, not always good, but to have this pain without knowing the life, is a cruel thing. Perhaps your child was spared from the world. You knew him, named him, loved him, you will always be connected to him, his soul is your soul. Peace and love to you all.
contrasts
~
my son
and
my father
dying
~
within 3 months time
~
teaching me
compassion
empathy
~
connecting me
opening
an
understanding
of
elements
within
our
humanity
Your heaven is your memories and love.
I’ve picked a bouquet of spring flowering weeds
and lighting a small candle
I’m celebrating this dios de los muertos
with you…
Love to you and yours…
Jana
reverence
~
creating
new
traditions
~
thank you
jana
Thanks for writing through your pain.
I’m so very sorry for your loss–must be horrible.
every day
is slowly better
~
thank you
for you kind words
My son lost a child in a similar way. They named her Nova. I still count her as a grandchild in the stars in heaven, but the future is there too. Peace.
thanks
for sharing
~
finding comfort
admiring stars
In the words of Kenji Miyazawa — “We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey”
I think you are doing that already.
Thank you for sharing light with all of us.
full
~
tank
I too lost one…I never got to hold him, but I do believe I will see his face again. I am not a religious person, but my spirit “just knows”….I am so sorry for your loss…
thank you
for sharing with me
~
I may not be a mom
but I’ve seen the
the magnitude
of a woman’s loss
~
my condolences
to you
I can only echo what has already been said, Geo, and again, I’m so sorry for your loss…
thank you
for
your continued
warmth
and
kindness
I’m so very sorry. Our son died after, a terrible battle with leukemia. There’s nothing anyone can really say, but I’m sorry.
I’m sorry
for your loss
~
you are right
there is really nothing
one can say
~
presence
as a response
being there
showing we care
~
reflecting
our compassion
Hello Geo, truth is also where hope lives: that’s what all the masters say: we can be comforted then in a way words can only circle around. Thinking of you and yours as I meet you through our pages. Niaih
every
new person
~
another
new teacher
Oh! I found I was holding my breath all through that piece. It was so precious. And he was a beautiful boy. I would be screaming, “WHY???”
painful
and
beautiful
~
life doesn’t always
make sense
Reblogged this on Impromptu Promptlings and commented:
Another piece by him that is so precious…
honoured …